Xanthan: Of Black Cockatoos, Guitars & a Life of Searching

Xanthan came up to Alice Springs about 2 ½ years ago, with his guitar and all his worldly possessions packed in his beloved1972 Belmont Holden. He felt drawn to discover the heart of Australia and took the risk of following his dreams. He quit a great teaching job in Victoria, gave away or sold most of what he owned and followed this tug to his heartstrings, unsure of what he would find or where this road would lead him.

We met Xanthan over dinner at Keith & Stella’s property in Honeymoon Gap, our base for our time in Alice Springs. Over shared meals, a trip to Hermmansburg and spontaneous chats on the property, we hear his unusual story. It is another story of a person who has had the courage to discover who he is and to follow his dreams.  This dream has led him to Alice and ultimately to Honeymoon Gap where our paths have crossed.

Xanthan has spent most of his life in Victoria and after graduating from university he got a coveted teaching post in inner city Melbourne. After a year, the travel bug bit, and much to people’s surprise, he walked away from his job, to drive up the East Coast of Australia. It was later on in life, when he was on his way to Broome that he met the girl from Ireland he thought would be his life’s partner.  Xanthan had been on the road for more than two years but never quite got to Broome.  Instead he found himself in Dublin. After living there for a while, they returned to Australia but eventually parted ways. 

It was one of those moments that made him reassess his life and would eventually redefine who he was.

Xanthan found it very difficult to cope with the breakup.  Those of us who have grappled with separating from a life partner would understand his struggle. Already familiar with the Grampians, Xanthan decided to spend 40 days camped in the wilderness to deal with his grief and to connect with nature. It was a time filled with wild dreams from which he would wake up in the early hours of the morning to diligently record them in the notebooks he had brought with him.  Having no one around to speak with, he was alone with his own thoughts. It was an emotional time but also a time of healing. He felt completely connected with the world around him and he let the bush envelope him.  It absorbed his tears and his laughter. Xanthan was beginning to understand who he was and to discover his destiny. The time in the wilderness had also revealed to him his totem—the Black Cockatoo.

Coming back to reality from this time alone with his thoughts required a certain adaptation. It led to deep conversations with his mum and dad, as Xanthan grappled with trying to put into words the spiritual awakening he had been through, and to explain that from now he would be known as Xanthan Black Cockatoo. 

It was after his 40 days in the Grampians that Xanthan came to the realisation that he needed to travel to Alice Springs. He arrived in the Centre with no address or fixed plans. He felt confident he could find work as a teacher but he had nowhere to stay, so the caravan park in town was where he put his swag down for 3 weeks. It was while signing up at the library that a lady noticed his unusual name, and suggested he go up to Honeymoon Gap to check out the black cockatoos. He was hiking on Keith’s property in search of black cockatoos when the two first met. Xanthan apologised for trespassing but Keith said he was welcome to hike there anytime. Xanthan felt incredibly drawn to this place, as if he had found his new home. Another chance meeting at the library with a friend from his hometown who happened to be camping at Keith’s led him back to a party at the property. Over drinks, Keith heard Xanthan’s story and invited him to move in to a small hut on the property.

It has been an unusual series of events that ultimately led Xanthan to finding his new home. He now lives in a ‘tiny house’ at Honeymoon Gap, helping out with chores around the place and feeling like part of this community. After a year of teaching and other jobs, he now works at the library. His guitar has also helped forge new connections in Alice. He lives a stress free life, feels loved and at home in this new community that he found through following his heart and through searching for the black cockatoos.

Discovering his totem has led him to unravelling part of his destiny. At the end of each day, Xanthan hears the call of the Black Cockatoos, as they come in to roost in the riverbed nearby.  He is writing a detailed account of his story and I can’t wait to read it!